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[22 May 2005|07:52pm] |
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sick tight-311 |
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i'm leaving for ohio in two days. two.mother.fucking.days.
dude..I hate those things people post on myspace.the ones about losing people. and it tells a really fucke up story about how they lost a loved one blah blah
mhm, those gay things
ugh, do they not realize people fuckin feel hurt because of them?
when I read it I thought of domenick right away. I love him. I still really do. it's so stupid. why would i still love him and want to be with him if I know I can't. he's fuckin dead sherrie.. get the fuck over it. he's dead.
I can't wait till im with everyone I love in Ohio..I complain about how I want someone who loves me and will listen to me and shit..well.. i realize, i keep making it seem like it's a relationship I want..but it's not. what I want is curtis. my bestfriend in the whole world. he's the one person who's NEVER judged me. and he never will. thank god for people like him...
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[02 May 2005|03:15am] |
This weekend was wonderful..
Went on a date with Joe. It went amazing!!!!! Saw a ton of old friends friday and saturday.
I saw Jenn, FUCK I NEED HER TO COME OVER SOON.
:D.
I'll make some picture update thingys soon. :D.
oh..and i'm deleting this journal soon, like..in a couple mintues soon.. so make sure you ask me for me new one;D
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[14 Mar 2005|06:43pm] |
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Eric Clapton-wonderful tonight |
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I was sitting here alone in my room when I started missing you. Theres not a day that goes by where I don't think about you or cry for you. I promised you that you'd be ok, and you wern't. I shouldn't hold myself responsible for that, but I do. How could I not? You were my BEST friend. There were times when you were SO scared Domenick. You'd call me while I was at school and tell me you were in the hospital, and i'd drop everything I was doing to comfort you and talk you through either a spinal tap, or I'd talk to you right after you were re diagnosed with your cancer. Its the worst feeling in the world to know that I have to wait a life time to see you again. I called your mom tonight. She didn't answer, but I did leave a messege asking her if she'd please call me back. I told her it was me, so I know she'll return my call as soon as she can.
I sit here and miss Eddie every single day. I know it's my fault for not remembering how to get ahold of him, But It's also my fault for letting him and I get of touch. He took your death so hard. And only three months later his grandma passed away. Ang his grandpas following slowly behind her. I wish I could be there for him, but I know thats not possible and it's not going to happen.
I called your mom with tears streaming down my cheeks. It's times like this when I feel like you're with me. you're standing right here, and thats why I cry for you, becuase it's a memory of you and me spending time together. Watch me while I sleep tonight Dom, cause I'll be dreaming of you.
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[20 Feb 2005|04:30am] |
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HATEBREED |
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three updates in one night. wtf.
I'm officially a myspace addict. actually I have been..I'm just now getting around to saying it.
I think i had a whole conversation with mike backwards tonight.poor kid♥ thanks for dealing with me Michael
I fuckin hate rumors. thats all I have to say about that little topic.
im going to disneyland in like four hours. WOOHOO. im a trooper. i stayed up all night talking to brian about the GAYEST shit ever. haha just kidding Brain. you know you rock. and you know our conversations do too.
I talked to vanesa for quite some time also. we made a list of things to do.
1. go to disney land together
2.corsica shows etc
3.steal you know whos hate book
4.invest in a alcohol collection and then drink together on friday nights.
5.be even cooler than we already fuckin are
I think I need to be more journal savy. i need to learn to bold things so i can make my entries more dramatic.
BTW. MY CATS M.I.A. WTF AM I GONNA DO!??!?!
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[20 Feb 2005|03:41am] |
All the prayers in the world can't bring you back. It's your last breath,
this is our last breath. Taken from this earth without warning. Victim of
the ultimate injustice. Nothing will ever make sense of this. Nothing could
have prepared me. All that is left are memories, and the pieces of a
shattered existence. I wish I could bring back. I felt you last breath. All
the prayers in the world can't bring you back.
Where are you when I need you Domenick? You were right when you told me all the other boys sucked and I should always love you.
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[04 Feb 2005|01:17am] |
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this weekend. is going. to KICK ASS.
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[13 Jan 2005|02:20pm] |
1. I hate knowing you don't think about me. Even if I don't think about you..that's besides the point..
2.Acting polite and sweet is far diffrent than actually being polite and sleep.
3.When you smiled I smiled back, but not because I was happy but because I knew you finally were..
4.I hate when you tell me to drop all my plans to do stuff with you. If I wanted to hang out with you then I would have asked. but since I avoid you, IT MEANS I DIDN'T WANT TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
5.Do not lie to my face even though you know I'm shortly going to find out the truth. seriously
6.It's fun to run around and talk about how free you are. When we did that, and we both understood what eachother was talking about..thats when I knew we'd be friends forever.
7. having to reassure you of yourself every five seconds does not make what I say any more powerful. just belive it for yourself. not because i reasured you.
8. yeah, i am sick of being mean to people..and I should change..but why would I want to let my gaurd down like that?
9.Meeting new people and then forgetting them when I see them again isn't something i'm likely to do..so if you see me and dont remmeber me, dont act like i didnt remember you, cause thats very unlikely..
10. Just because I don't agree with you dosn't mean i'm going to break your spirit and your bliss. I just wont agree with you. it's a simple thing called tolerance.
Have a nice day<3333
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[08 Jan 2005|04:26pm] |
Well this might be short..it might be long..
Recently all I do is drink and party. it's actually amusing. I'm losing alot of weight from drinking so much. which is odd, cause usually it's the other way around.. but anyways...
tonight the girls and i plus shrooms are going to a all ages 80's club.
yesterday was jenns 18th birthday, so we partied till we puked. i only throw up because of david. muthafucka told me to chug. i did it.. came right back up in jenns backyard haha..
today Jenn and I went with handle ( 18 year old jen ) to get her first tattoo. she was tense at first, but as we kept talking to her she lightend up and it took her mind off of it.
hmmm met alot of new people. havnt hung out with aaron since..thursday. he was going on a date and we ran into him so we had a conversation about my neckless. i think
I dont remember why i cried so much last night. but jenn says its cause she wouldnt hug me.
emotional drunk girls : Me and jenn for sure.
I talked to james. he said he found a pearl neckless the next day after his party. it was mine. he said it was broken so he threw it away. fuckin drunk jenn man..shes the one who lost it. but yeah, he also found aarons weed that he dropped " did someone bring a bunch of shwag?" " wtf is that..."
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[25 Dec 2004|12:32am] |
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inxs-beautiful girl |
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I'm updating!! wow.
I talked to Eddie on the phone tonight. He said " It's weird..this time last year you domonick and I were sitting here laughing on the phone..It's weird how things have changed "
It really is. And if only I could express how much I miss him and how surreal it still is to me.
But enough with this emo nonsense bullshit.
Aarons turning 18 soon. WOOT. GO AARON...
Why is aaron spelled with two a's..it looks pretty lame. just like sherrie has two r's in it. hmm...
garrett has two r's and two t's so...i feel bad for that poor soul
GARRETTS COMING IN FEB. WHATTTTTT NIGGA I BE GOING TO SEEIZZLE HIM IN LIKE TWO MONTHS FO SHIZZLE.
Merry christmas you all..
merry christmas dom..h.f.l:)
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[29 Nov 2004|07:54pm] |
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long beach dub allstar mix I got from garrett is like hot cocoa on a cold day. i love it.
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[29 Nov 2004|07:29pm] |
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hickeys. hehehehe
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[24 Nov 2004|01:58pm] |
So this long weekend of mine is going to be interesting.
I'm going out with Gino tonight. Well, I think we're just going to stay at his house. His mom is working late tonight. Then tomorrow i'm going to Graces house for thanksgiving. then friday i'm going out with Gino and his friend jordan who I have met, but I havn't met his girlfriend, so she's coming too I think. Saturday I'm probably gonna do nothing and sunday I think i'm going over to ginos;x.
last night was SO NICE.
<33333333333
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[21 Nov 2004|02:28pm] |
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the play is over.
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[17 Nov 2004|12:31am] |
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I miss you- Incubus |
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So it's tuesday night. technically wed morning. but anyways, thep lays thursday.. I'm fuckin nervouse as all hell. I hate my stage direction. It's really improvised and akward.
I went to Ginos after rehersal. again. It was rushed this time, but we made the most of it. And he asked me a really interesting question..well kinda.
he looked at me after i got off the phone with my mom and said
" things are rough aren't they.."
"huh?"
" at home..things seem really rough" I mean..I didn't say anything. but it made me think.
Just thought i'd share that.
I really like laying in his room listeing to incubus and the sound of his heart beat which i can clearly hear seeing as how my head is resting on his chest
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[14 Nov 2004|11:02pm] |
Went shopping today. Spent alotttt of money;D.
Went to the movies with Gino then went back to his house and listend to some incubus in his bedroom;x. then came home. I slept in late today. Wont be getting much of that until after saturday.
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[13 Nov 2004|05:08pm] |
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I want to vent, but I feel so stupid. It's not something someone else did. It's me.
Aja is really mad at me for yesterday. and I'm sure Cate and Emily are too.
I'm such a big dumb ass. I didn't notice how shitty of a time she was having.
Aja called me and like, told me how much she didn't like me yesterday. how diffrent I was and how she had the worst time at disney land with me..
I don't think i'm going with her anymore. Because I don't feel the same now. I feel like such a asshole.
Gino and I made out alot. and that pissed her off. and I went on alot of rides with him.
And then the teasing about the maliboomer thing..err..I had no idea that botherd her. I'm a idiot.
I don't know. I think I need to go to sleep. this entry was pointless. It made me realize how much of a big stupid dumb ass I am. BIG STUPID ASSHOLE BITCH.
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[07 Nov 2004|01:45pm] |
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Domenick died.
Not today. but last week. the 3rd.
I havn't talked about it to anyone. I don't need to...Nothing is going to change what happend. It's just..It's unbelivable.
No ones ever died like this. I mean his parents kept telling me " he's gonna get better. He's coming out of it all, he's gonna be able to talk soon" ( he had a tube down his throat)
I told him I loved him. That was the last thing I said of importance. then I said " I have to go now Domenick, put your dad back on the phone" and he got upset. I could hear him trying to tell me something. Then last monday, I had a dream...In my dream I was with domenick, we were doing something, playing I think. I told him he was healthy now, although he said he was getting a cold, and I told him " domenick, you're going to get really sick soon. I love you, but you're going to be getting really sick"
I didn't want to tell anyone that I had that dream. I told Aja, but then after he died, I havn't told anyone.
Eddie called me during rehersal. the last time I had acall from him was when he told me Dom was in ICU.
I'm never going to hear domenick again. ever. I wont ever hear him laugh, or see him smile, or hear him play guitar for me. I'll never get to hug him. I didn't know how fucked up it was to have someone die. You lose so much without warning.
I was scared of death before..But now, I'm scared even more. He was one of my best friends. look how much of a mess I am. Imagine when my mom dies, or when my dad, or one of my sisters. Everyones going to die eventually. Even me. But at least I can't miss myself.
That was so fucked up. what the fuckin hell.
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[06 Nov 2004|03:16pm] |
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I love all the friends on my friends list. ch ch ch check it out
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